I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
