'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
