Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(661): View more from California

Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.

Fav 6 2653 882
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(859): View more from Kentucky

thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.

Fav 11 6535 1268
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(817): View more from Texas

Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.

Fav 6 2947 1068
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(469): View more from Texas

FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.

Fav 19 4022 1571
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(315): View more from New York

He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.

Fav 6 1226 3343
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high

Fav 2 1838 1086
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.

Fav 13 3020 893
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(917): View more from New York City

I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.

Fav 0 44 17
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(613): View more from Ontario

I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.

Fav 0 100 7
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