wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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