we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she looked like the before picture.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
