So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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