Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
wanna go halves on a baby?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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