Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
how does that bad decision feel?
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