Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize