Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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