I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so explain again why im purple
no
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
