Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
That reminds me...we need to get swords
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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