my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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