Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
