You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
