question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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