i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
