i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
