Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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