So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
