Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
