And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
