It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
