I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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