How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
