Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
