I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize