Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
