I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
