Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Randomize
