I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
