I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I think I just sharted jello shots
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
