I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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