Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize