I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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