She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
There's even glitter on my cock...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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