Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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