More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
