I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
