Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
