Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
