she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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