why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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