Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
