I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He felt like a one man threesome
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
