I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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