Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
