I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize