maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
