I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
