No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
