ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think my vagina is haunted
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
