I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Damn victory sex feels great
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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