Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
