I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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