i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
