11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
