You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
