fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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