You made me cry and you don't even care
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
