Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
